The common image of a girl who is trafficked is still one that is snatched off the streets or grabbed and then enslaved through force. While this definitely happens, it is not the most common way that girls and women become commercially, sexually exploited. The number one threat is actually the “Romeo Pimp.” A Romeo Pimp will approach a girl and pretend to woo her. He will shower her with gifts and praise. He will convince her that he loves her. Then, he will ask her to allow herself to be exploited sexually or he will victimize her.
Leaving a Romeo Pimp is difficult. Often times, victims may suffer from “moral injury” which are psychological disturbances that are a result of feeling they were complicit in their own victimization. Victims have been manipulated into thinking they are doing things “out of love,” they may feel like they are to blame. Although they are exploited, they may still feel like they weren’t forced or that they could have said no. They don’t realize that pimps and traffickers will switch to force and violence if they cannot get victims to comply.
The power of “love” is the weapon that Romeo pimps and traffickers use. They distort what love and positive relationships should be. Although anyone can become a victim of the Romeo pimp, girls who are already vulnerable and have experienced trauma are his primary target. This includes girls who are system affected (child welfare, probation, etc.), abused or part of marginalized communities. Thus, when the Romeo pimp treats them like they are important, they believe it and want to please him. Even when things begin to get bad and the Romeo pimp starts to exploit them, victims will return to that feeling of “love” as an excuse to stay.
Romeo pimps know exactly what they are doing. This is a well honed mechanism for them. Sugar, a Romeo pimp operating in Vegas stated, “Damn, you just gotta get one girl to love you. One girl who loves you will move the world for you.” He nods in affirmation and then proceeds to describe how his “bottom bitch” or the girl that runs his “stable of girls” has put herself in between him and the police several times. “That’s the power of love,” he says, “She’d rather go to jail herself than see me go down for it.”
Indeed, the power of “love” is putting thousands of girls in the path of possible exploitation. But, maybe the power of love is also the answer. The problem is that many of these girls don’t know what love is supposed to be like or has ever even had an example of a positive relationship. Unfortunately, popular media and social media only emphasize the transactional aspects of love or overromanticize relationships.
Perhaps, the answer is to start teaching children what positive relationships look and feel like. More importantly, teaching children about self love is also crucial. In fact, knowing what love is might just save their lives.
Watch for these warning signs:
- New items of clothing, jewelry or other things with no indication of how it was purchased
- Change of clothing style
- New friends
- Always on the phone or checking the phone
- Older boyfriends
- Isolation (does not go out with old friends or engage in former activities)
- Stays out late at night or does not come home.
Guest Columnist - Annalisa Enrile, Ph.D., MSW, Clinical Professor at the USC Suzanne Dworek-Peck School of Social Work
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski