After over two years of research I believe I can somewhat answer the question of, “What foster parents wish social workers knew and
did?”
Though I am not a foster parent but rather a foster care alumnus I was very interested in this topic. During my eighteen years in foster
care I was rarely spoken to about decisions being made about my future; just as rarely were my foster parents ever made a part of the
decision making process.
In matter of fact as far back as I have any memory I remember my foster parents being told of the decisions after the fact. Their advice
was not asked for though they were supposedly part of a team. It appeared to me that there were viewed as “babysitters” rather than
the temporary parents that they were.
Some social workers seemed to think they knew ALL the questions as well as the answers to them. This was despite the fact that many
of them were young, right out of college and never parented children themselves. There maybe twenty minutes, if lucky, spent with the
foster parents or youth per month carried ALL the weight in the decision making process rather than the ones who cared for me twenty-
four/seven.
I firmly believe the attitudes of some of the social workers in the field today need to be changed. Please bear in my I do not make a
blanket statement on this as I know there are many good and dedicated social workers in the field.
This article is not meant to condemn or makes judgments about social workers. It is my intent as well as those who participated in my
study to offer advise as to how all can better themselves in the field.
Because of my own experience spending eighteen years in foster care I decided to find out the opinions of other foster care alumni,
foster parents and yes; even former/current social workers.
Over the course of the past two years I have had phone calls, E mails and visited numerous foster care groups online and in person
reaching over 500 people. In the article below I attempt to summarize these findings. They are broken down into seven main categories
as well as the main statements people made for each.
I believe that if even a few of the suggestions were practiced they would make for more informed decisions and have far better
relationships with foster parents as well as the foster youth.
Here are just some of the ideas stated:
BE HONEST:
1. We know the youth may be damaged; we just need to know how and in what way.
2. Tell me if you have 75 cases so I will know I am pretty much on my own.
3. Tell me if the teen uses drugs or if sexual abuse is involved in the case.
4. Tell me if this is the youth’s first time in foster care or a return to care. Tell me how many previous homes they have been in and
how long they have been in care.
5. There is no reason to lie to us; we’re all supposed to be on the same team.
6. Tell me if you know the youth has more appointments in a week than there are days. I have a job that I need to work around.
TRUST US:
………. because we are with this child day in an day out……
1. We should know if the youth is peeing in the corner.
2. Yes the child needs to see a doctor; I know how to use a thermometer.
3. I am not in it for the money, though it helps.
4. I saw the youth get on the school bus / I walked the youth to their class.
5. You did a background check, psych evaluation, and contacted everyone in the world who knows me. If I was like that it would have
been found out sooner.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski