Thank you for the opportunity to share my story and my journey through the foster care system. I am humbled to inspire hope in others.
-Would you mind giving us an overview of your childhood/abuse/foster care history?
As a child, I grew up with many different types of abuses. Mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse consumed my young little life. tell my high school teacher what was happening inside my home, and to us kids. Shortly after that, the state got involved. They came and took me and my seven siblings with them.
-It has been said that you lived in your car? Would you mind telling us a little about this?
Well, living in a car isn't for the weak of heart I'll tell ya that! I often think about those hot humid summer nights in Florida, sleeping in my two door Chevy Cavalier. I remember gripping my Bible and praying for a miracle. Sometimes, it was too hot to sleep in the car, so my little brother and I would sleep on those fancy beach beds that grand hotels put on the beach for their guests. At night, we would pull them close to each other. We would just lay there starring at the stars that seemed to cover the sky on nights like that.
There were times when we had no food. That’s when we would sneak into hotels and eat the continental breakfast they put out for guest. I am so thankful the lady working didn't kick us out, because we showed up to eat their bagels and orange juice often enough to know we weren't hotel guests!
I will NEVER take for granted the blessings of a shower. Oh the joy of clean, fresh, hot water washing off all the dirt that accumulates on your skin and under your nails when homelessness is your life. Nothing will rob you more of your femininity than homelessness.
-Did you age out of care?
Yes, at the age of 16, I was a "Ward of the State", at which point the State placed me in what is called, “Long term non-relative placement". During the first semester of my Senior year in high school, I turned 18, at which point I left the home I was in. I moved a few places and eventually found myself living in my car.
-Was there one person who is the reason for your success? Someone who reached out to you? Or, did you do this alone?
I am still on my journey of success! I still struggle in this thing called life. But let me tell you, I am SO much closer to where I want to be today, than ever before. I am excited to keep fighting the fight knowing success is in the near future.
Along the way the Lord has placed several people in my path who have helped me from that next meal to paying rent when working wasn't enough. People seem to come and go like a revolving door in my life...all except for one.
Let me tell you about my friend, Jesus! Through all the lonely nights, scary moments, and weary days the Lord Jesus has always loved me and been with me. He is the only reason I am still alive and certainly the only reason I have come out of the fire without burns or smelling like smoke!
-What was the driving force behind you becoming, Ms. California?
I knew if I could capture the state title it would give me a better platform to launch my dream of having a non-profit for abused girls and travel the country as a motivational life coach with my book, helping others with my story and inspiring hope in young girls and women everywhere. It was a chance for me to invest in myself and grow as a young woman. I am so thankful I believed in myself, having the courage to stand up in front of the world screaming, "Here I am!! Crown me!!”
-What are your dreams, goals?
I dream of a day when I am standing in front of thousands of women sharing stories and inspiring hope in each of them. I dream of a day where young girls can turn 18 and not fight alone in this world but come to a safe haven filled with love, healing, and opportunities for them to become successful. I dream of the day all of my brothers and sisters are eating at a beautiful dinner prepared just for us. I have a lot of goals but my first priorities are finishing my book and publishing it, travel the country and speak to inspire others and start a non-profit that aides young girls and women to flourish; spiritually, mentally, and physically.
-What encourages you?
Chocolate! Ha, ha! Can I say, chocolate???! Well it does. It encourages me to hit the gym so I can keep my girlish figure! Okay, so what really encourages me are the stories I hear about other people. Like the war in Syria right now. I watch the videos and how can I possibly complain or be angry about anything? How can I not stand up and do some good in this world? Hearing the journeys of others encourages me to do what is right and make a difference. My heart weeps for those hurting all over this world.
-What sustained you in the darkest of times?
It wasn't until much later in my high school years that I was determined to not become what everyone said I was going to be. I had heard my whole life that I was going to be a whore on some corner addicted to some drug and then end up in some ditch on the side of the road. When I was younger I gave into the lies my mother would tell me. That no one wanted me and that I was better off dead. A few times in my pre-teen and teen years I was suicidal, I thought it would be easier than to be raped and beaten every day. I was pulling patches of hair out from tormenting abuse and ended up with bald spots all over my head. My blonde locks turned into bald patches and when they grew in the hair grew back like porcupine hair. The kids at school gave me a new name because of this... Spike...It was crippling.
Going home to not having a name and being called demon or laundry lady to going to school and being called, Spike, crushed me. I was broken mentally and emotionally. The times I tried to commit suicide, just never worked out. I accredit that to the Good Lord, otherwise, I would no longer be here.
-When you fail, things look bleak, what makes you want to continue?
Talk about stamina! I stumble often and boy do fail more than I succeed! But I keep going because I REFUSE to quit. No quit attitude here. I accredited my mindset to a man named, Master Chief McFarland. He was my NJROTC teacher and he always told me to dream big and to run hard after them. He passed away from cancer and I miss him terribly but I will never forget all the things he taught me and how he always told me to never quit no matter what.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski