This is the first in a series of columns that will attempt to answer some of the questions people commonly ask. Since Dr. Sandie Morgan set my hair on fire by educating me on the connection between children who have been mistreated and the commercial sexual exploitation of children, I have done my best to help people understand that foster kids are the #1 more vulnerable target of traffickers, that they are compliant victims, and that many (if not most) foster and former fosters don’t self-identify as having been trafficked.
In this series, we will address why some kids go willingly with the traffickers, and don’t try to get away. We will answer the question, “How can I know what to look for? And what do I do if I see something suspicious?” We will address when to call the national hotline and when to dial 9-1-1. We will give prevention tips in our response to the question, “How can I protect the children within my influence?” And we will attempt to answer questions posed to us on our facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/CONNECTTHEDOTSBETWEENFOSTERCAREANDTRAFFICKING/.
We’re never going to be able to stop child sex trafficking in the US until people believe it’s happening, learn the signs of possible child trafficking, and work up the courage to make the call to the national hotline, 1888 3737 888 or to 9-1-1. The good news is that WE CAN STOP CHILD SEX TRAFFICKING by learning the signs, making the call, and thereby making it difficult for people to traffic children and youth in our neighborhoods.
The most frustrating thing for me is for people to sincerely believe it’s not happening here in the good ‘ol US of A. When someone reveals this disbelief, I have to remind myself not to lose my mind and make a scene. I feel like getting a megaphone and screaming, “HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!! CHILDREN ARE BEING SOLD FOR SEX IN PLAIN SIGHT. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE. LOOK AROUND. CARE ABOUT THE CHILDREN YOU SEE. IT DOESN’T MATTER A WHIT IF THEY AREN’T YOUR BLOOD RELATIVES. THEY ARE PRECIOUS CHILDREN WHO DO NOT DESERVE TO BE RAPED FOR PROFIT!” End rant.
So, first, let’s establish that there are people who pay for sex with children. Anyone who reads Foster Focus Magazine is already clear on the truth that there are people who sexually abuse children. So, it’s really not a leap to believe that there are people who, rather than take it by force, pay for what they want.
Now that we’ve established the basic truth, let’s talk about the motivations of the men who pay sex with children. Some men have a predilection for this abominable and insidious crime. True pedophiles are sexually attracted to children. They believe that they are not causing harm, but rather are showing love to the children they abuse. This crime is insidious, for many reasons, but especially because it sends horrific mixed message to the children involved. Tender affection, combined with acts that are uncomfortable, painful, and shameful, lead to tangled wiring in the brain that can take a lifetime to straighten out.
Unbelievably, there is an effort by some to establish sexual attraction to children as a commonly accepted sexual orientation, in the same way as being gay or straight. Accepting pedophilia as an orientation would normalize this selfish aberration. Everyone who cares about children should do all they can to stand against this.
Other men weren’t always attracted to children, but rather took a step over the line down a slippery slope, and found themselves acting out ever-expanding fantasies.
These men started with porn, which had to get more and more graphic in order to satiate what became an addiction. As with most addictions, the addicted person needs more and more, and farther outside the boundaries of what is culturally acceptable. Ultimately, when the fantasy no longer satisfies, they cross the line into real action against real children and youth. These are the men who, according to Dr. Annalisa Enrile, Professor at USC Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work, book “appointments” for sex with children via their computer at work at 2 o’clock in the afternoon—no different than they would book an appointment to have their teeth cleaned. These men look like our co-workers, neighbors, or the guy standing next to you in line at Starbucks.
Finally, there are the men who purchase sex with a person they believe to be a consenting adult, and are surprised to get to the designated location to find a young girl (or boy). Some trafficking victims report these men saying things like, “Oh, you can’t be more than 14. But I already paid…” In rare cases, it’s these men who help the young person escape what is commonly referred to as “The Life.”
Check back next month when we take on the next question. If we don’t talk about it, it’s never going to change. We look forward to hearing from you on our facebook page.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski