There is a reason this column is called Connecting the Dots. Much like the childhood game we used to play, the information on where to find the next, best dot, is provided by the last dot you identified. They each have been assigned a number whose order has universally been agreed upon. The order of the numbers is what guides your line or path.
Our challenge is twofold: not all our DOTS are good Dots and the ones already identified as being important in our dynamic, do not come with an assigned number. It is up to us to identify the actual dot and then prioritize its place in the journey of the drawn line, which is the life of the Foster Child.
That line might begin at the point our precious cargo leaves the dangerous home environment and initially attempts to enter Foster Care. Possibly they have already been placed, or moved once again and are trying to play the cards dealt to them by their less than comfortable current Foster Care situation. This point has become an easily recognized bad dot that ignores the healthy line and sets up a special vulnerability that welcomes Human Trafficking. In addition, until recently, there has not been much of an organized option for, “After Foster Care” guidance. Sadly, this point on the line manifests itself as an even larger BAD dot. This one shows up at the most pivotal point on the line, disguising itself as the love, safety and belonging, that powerfully (and erroneously) encourages the very paradigm shift, that leads to human trafficking.
Safeguards are continually put in place and oversight is conducted religiously to intercept these bad dots. This is a continually supported and fine-tuned practice. The bigger challenge is really how to arm the children and young adults themselves, so that they can begin to function as their own internal “neighborhood watch” if you will, calling out and unmasking the heinous dots that pretend to offer immediate relief to any number of unsatisfying situations, often surrounding them.
If Pinocchio had been armed with a well-trained internal self-protection, he would have never been seduced by the, “fun friends” that could lead him astray, simply because Gepetto wasn’t there to guide him at that moment.
Now, self-protection would seem a normal part of one’s development. To the degree that the developmental continuum actually exists and has not been damaged or tainted, the self-protecting muscle is developed. Part of that, “work out” includes filters. These filters shape our ability to appreciate long range consequences and identify available choices as good, better, best and BAD. However, nothing can grow or heal in a vacuum and an emotional vacuum is exactly where most Foster Children and young adults find themselves.
Within that vacuum, these underdeveloped safety muscles and associated broken pieces appear to have no chance of being rebuilt. But we are not Humpty Dumpty…we can be put back together again. Guided entirely by careful nurturing and expertly directed compassion, we find ourselves able to facilitate that rebuilding and offer the most sacred element, of Hope.
Our lives are like a roadmap. Consequently they require updating and reevaluating as the topography changes. Without that kind of input, we would drive around aimlessly, oblivious to danger signs and always off course. Any hope of reaching a desired destination becomes nonexistent. Being able to instill hope to these disadvantaged drivers opens the door to our mission of equipping our children with the tools to, “grow up again” and avoid the destructive detours. Without it, they are like drivers needing to ask for directions without a voice.
The silencing of the voice of the victim is a big part of how Human Trafficking takes hold and stays strong. That voice was designed to instinctively say, “No, Stop or not me,” when feeling at risk and threatened.
Finding a way to instill hope, while helping them find their own voices lays the groundwork for any other program or technique to be embraced by this understandably untrusting populace.
Fortunately there are in place a number of programs already enjoying documented success in this process of rebuilding from the inside out. Currently they are at work in non-Foster Care groups.
Our efforts to customize these techniques, nurture them with unconditional patience and constancy, then become the best chance of self-sufficient clearly functioning Voices.
Going forward it is our intent to share these techniques, number the dots AWAY from Human Trafficking and seriously impact the previously short circuited opportunities for growth, of this precious group whose time has finally come.
Stay tuned, you won’t be disappointed.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski