The Answer to Child Welfare Reform

Over the years I’ve heard the different opinions regarding on how the Child Welfare system needs to be repaired- how it should be reformed, how it will happen, who should do it etc, etc, etc. Through my professional experience working within the foster care system and from my personal experience living in the foster care system, I have finally arrived at how Child Welfare will TRULY reform….wait for it…..wait for it…wait for it…through THE LEADERSHIP OF ALUMNI OF THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM. What do I mean by leadership? Well, I do not mean simply through Youth Advisory Boards or alumni working only on the front lines as social workers/case managers within foster care; this engagement is needed and is also very important but organizations and agencies working with foster youth need to be led by Alumni from the foster care system who are able to combine their experience living in foster care with their competencies working within child welfare or other related fields.

One of my Alumni Sisters, Dominique, made a great point – “Allies are great, but we need to come together to support each other instead of waiting for others to do so.” After doing research, I found that most organizations that work with foster youth are NOT led by Alumni of the foster care system. It sends an inaccurate message that we do not exist (or that they cannot find us) and that we do not have the skills to lead in positions of authority.

I am not condemning these organizations or those individuals working for foster youth that have not experienced the foster care system. Our “Allies” are important; however this is a message that there is a need for Alumni to UNITE and begin to lead and change their own circumstances and those of the youth coming behind them through collective influence. We are not victims, we are not charity. We are competent, we are leaders, and we have a stake in our OWN futures and so does this country (and countries around the world). It’s time to stop waiting and stop expecting others to “save” us. We have a responsibility to hold child welfare organizations and our legislators accountable for our lack of meaningful inclusion in affairs that only we are best to describe.

How do we begin this shift, you ask? Here are a few of my suggestions:

1. UNITE: Alumni need to unite to support each other. Support/promote OTHER Alumni. How? Be deliberate about patronizing Alumni Businesses, hiring Alumni, connecting with Alumni. The “Crab in the Barrel” mentality must end. There are enough resources to go around. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Alumni almost fight to respond to a request for Speakers for an event or how many times an Alumni will not work with another Alumni because they view them as competition. As long as we are divided others looking to exploit our experience and our efforts will prevail.

2. ACCOUNTABILITY - Hold organizations accountable that are working for us but do not have us in positions of authority. Do your Research! Google is your best friend. Take some time to visit the websites of organizations/agencies that serve foster youth or Alumni of the foster care system and peruse their staff directory. If they do not have one single Board Member from care or the Key Personnel of the organization/agency are not comprised of at least one Alumnus, reach out to ask them why. Take a look at their job postings when they have openings. Are they specific about inviting Alumni of foster care – and not just for entry-level positions?

3. MONEY – the difference between us and those organizations that lead and determine child welfare trends is MONEY. They have money and we do not because we do not pool our resources. In many cases, we have been deprived of financial stability (for reasons only we can fully understand) so as soon as someone offers us money to tear our souls open at a speaking event (only to never be contacted again or only contacted when they need us to rip it open again) we jump at the chance. We need Alumni who are financially successful and who have large followings to reach out to find out how they can support this effort. A couple of my Alumni brothers and sisters, Rhonda Sciortino and Derek Clark- to name two, at one time or another have provided me with a platform to share the work I’m doing and I’m sure they have both financially supported other Alumni efforts/projects. Another example: not too long ago I attended a function for a large non-profit that works in the child welfare field and prides itself on working with and changing the lives of foster children. I was extremely disappointed to find that only a handful of Alumni were actually present. In fact, comp or reduced prices for tickets for Alumni or transitioning youth were not even offered. How does this happen? It happens because Alumni are not in positions of authority and Alumni were not engaged around the planning of this event so how would they know that many Alumni that wanted to attend could not afford to?

4. STEP FORWARD! – Your story has POWER. Do not be ashamed of experiencing the foster care system. We need to set the example through our collective success that youth in foster care and adults from foster care are NOT incompetent- that we are important stakeholders in this country and abroad and that our collective influence cannot be ignored. If you have been in foster care (whether you’re 21 or 87) and you have been hiding it for fear of the negative label, please STEP FORWARD to get involved! Your silence allows the insidious infection of shame to continue in the hearts of our young people living in foster care. And not only will this insidious infection continue to grow in them, but it will continue to grow in YOU. Want to get involved? Want ideas on how you can not only give back but can also get support from other successful alumni on how to deal with those issues brought on by foster care in a safe space? CALL ME – 800-660-2338!!

5. START YOUR OWN! - If you live in a state/city/jurisdiction that does not efficiently address the needs of transitioning and former foster youth and you have tried reaching out to child welfare organization/agencies in your area but they are uninterested in partnering or honoring your feedback in any way? Start your own organization that meets this need. Start your own business that will employ foster youth and alumni of care. Begin to create your own network of Alumni that will support each other. Not sure how to start your own organization/business? Have the ideas and vision but not sure how to implement it? Reach out to Fostering Change Network (800-660-2338)! We’ll help you do it! And reach out to Foster Care Alumni of America to find out if there is a Chapter near you! GET CONNECTED!

As with any marginalized group, we cannot continue to wait for others to treat us fairly, to include us in the decisions that are made about us-without us, to give us a platform to lead. We must unite to request it, to demand it, to expect it. We must support each other in a way that no one else can. The question is: Are you up for the challenge?

I will leave you with this quote “All for one and one for all, united we stand divided we fall.”
― Alexandre Dumas,
The Three Musketeers .