I hate when things end. Call it a foster care side effect if you want to, but when things end it drives me bonkers! Seasons, TV shows, movies, meals, it doesn’t matter. If it ends, I hate it. I’m like the only person that doesn’t mind that stupid Lampchops song!
So it was is with a heavy heart that I say good bye to another Foster Focus Columnist.
You couldn’t ask for a more supportive ally than Dr. Kalyani Gopal. From the second year of the magazine until now she has been a staunch and vocal supporter of what Foster Focus and I have been attempting to do; bring foster care news and information to the masses in a way that highlights the good, the bad and the ugly.
Last year Dr. Gopal began to chase down her dream too. Dr. Gopal is passionate about human trafficking. So much so that she put on a conference about the problem. It was held in Chicago at the end of last year, folks who have subscribed for a while will recall her writing about it in a few columns. I was at the SAFE conference and it was a fantastic event. Experts from all areas that come in contact with human trafficking filled the conference rooms. I spoke alongside a mental health professional and a judge from Indiana as we discussed foster care’s roll in the trafficking epidemic. It was a real learning experience, I took away quite a bit from it.
Since the conference the good doctor has continued her advocacy, all the while fulfilling her duties as a Foster Focus columnist. I remember how difficult was to work a day job and do the magazine, the doc was running her practice, working on trafficking issues and writing her monthly column. I can’t watch her keep trying to juggle all these responsibilities, so I’m making the executive decision to set her free.
People like Dr. Gopal will work themselves silly trying to fulfill all the obligations they’ve agreed to and because she is a good person, she agrees to do a lot. I could keep going along with it and watch her struggle to keep up but that wouldn’t serve anyone. So as much as I had things ending, “Ask a Pro” must end. It may come back somewhere down the line but for the for seeable future, it’s done.
During her tenure with the magazine, she managed to answer dozens of questions from readers and shed light on many areas of mental health issues that impact alumni leaving foster care. She touched on the hot button issues of the day, like the time she expanded on RAD (reactive attachment disorder) when it was first making it’s rounds as the go to diagnosis across the nation. Her taking the time to explain what it was and what to look for was beneficial to several subscribers. I know, I got the emails thanking me. But the thanks all goes to Dr. Gopal.
When the letters were lean in the beginning, I would ask her to explore areas of care that interested me, selfish I know, this is how I learn. Couldn’t ask for a better teacher. She has a way of writing to the reader without being preachy or giving a lecture. I have always found her pieces to be thought provoking and insightful.
Above all the professional aspects of our relationship has been the maternal care she’s given to me. On more than one occasion she has talked me through near fits of depression and exhaustion. She’s given me sage advice on how to keep my head about me in the midst of what is a most chaotic life. She’s aided me in accepting success, which is a struggle I will continue to deal with. (It’s not so much the success, more the fear of failing in front of a giant audience that I created.)
There’s no one else on the planet that does exactly what I do, there’s no one to talk to about the ups and downs. I use the Editor’s Notes to get some of it out, but the rest I would unload on the good doctor. Bless her heart, she absorbed it all and pointed me in the right direction to staying mentally sharp.
Before I close out the article and subsequently this column, I want to take one last moment to convey my gratitude to Dr. Kalyani Gopal for being a fantastic columnist, a tremendous friend and the lifeblood of her family which includes her husband and two children, both wicked smart college kids.
I will never fully be able to thank you Doc, but running your practice, maintaining a family and all of the other things you do so well has been a pleasure to watch and the inspiration for me to keep my head down and work three times harder than everyone else. I appreciate your service and support to myself and Foster Focus.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski