You Can Cry Later

“I got to talk in front of the class,” Jenna told Miss Laurie. “I wish Grandma Sandy was here, and Mr. Dan too, but I’ll tell them later.” She realized she was speaking quickly, but she was excited. “I showed everybody my project, and Miss Teak said she would let me enter it in the School Science Fair, even though I’m only in third grade.” Jenna did a little jump, a happy jump. “Everybody clapped for me, and I got to answer a few questions about the experiment after I was done.”

“I am proud of you,” Miss Laurie said.

“And I decided I’m done with fake smiles,” said Jenna. Why did I say that, she wondered. Miss Laurie nodded her head like she understood.

Jenna stared out the window and forgot about the science project. She froze for a minute, and couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The shock on her face turned into a smile.

“Miss Laurie,” she said. “My heart just leapt inside of me.” 

Miss Laurie smiled back and turned around. She stood up and walked over to the window. Laurie’s smile turned into a look of shock.

“Mom!” shouted Jenna with glee. “She came back. She wants me after all.”

“Oh no,” muttered Miss Laurie.

“What’s wrong?” demanded Jenna.

“The judge said she can’t come here to our house to see you,” said Miss Laurie.

“Why not?”

Jenna’s Mom banged on the door. The rat-a-tat sound gave way to a thick thud sound. Mom was kicking the door.

Through the window Jenna could see her Mother. Mom’s eyes were blazing, bloodshot and bruised. 

She’s having one of her fits again, thought Jenna.

“I need to calm her down,” Jenna said.

Miss Laurie ran to the door. “It’s not locked,” she gasped. At first, Jenna thought she was telling Mom to open the door and come in, but then she realized Miss Laurie wanted to stop her Mother.

Before Miss Laurie could reach the door, Mom turned the knob and shoved her way inside, falling over on her face. She stood up, shocked, like she did not know where she was. She looked up and down, right and left, until her eyes settled on Jenna. Mom blinked several times.

“I came for a visit,” she said blankly, glancing down at the floor.

“The judge said you can’t have any more visits,” said Miss Laurie through clenched teeth. “Not without following the rules.”

“I came to take her. Take her away forever.”

Jenna’s stomach tightened until it hurt. It seemed like a fist grasped her stomach, squeezing tight. Jenna grabbed her sides and fought back tears.

Her Mom reached for her and said, “You can cry later. We are in a hurry. Your Dad is with Rob in another state. We are going to live with them.”

Rob, thought Jenna. He was always threatening to smack her with the back of his hand. Not Rob!

Miss Laurie stepped between Jenna and her Mom. “No!” she said loudly.

Mom’s eyes started twitching, and her left pinkie shook. She said, “Honey, we need you. We can’t make it through the day without you.”

Jenna gulped. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and her knuckles and realized there were no tears. 

Mom’s pinkie continued shaking, and Mom stared at the floor, not looking Jenna in the eye. Her Mom’s voice trembled as she said, “I just talked to the judge. He said you could come back and live with us forever.”

Jenna noticed how Mom would not look at her. She knew what that meant. “You are…” 

Jenna couldn’t get herself to say: You are lying. 

Instead, Jenna said, “You are making that up.”

Mom’s eyes grew wide. She stopped shaking. “This is all your fault!” Mom screamed. “If you hadn’t been staring at our hiding place, we wouldn’t have gotten arrested.”

“That is enough!” snapped Miss Laurie. “You will not talk to her like that!”

“You listen to me, Jenna!” Mom yelled. “I am sick of you ordering me around. From now on, you do what I say. I’m the adult, not you! Come with me and get in the car!”

Jenna closed her eyes hard for a moment, so hard she could see red flashes and stars. This didn’t seem right, just like the time Dad wanted her to make up lies about Miss Laurie and Mr. Dan. She was going to stay right there. She wouldn’t rush past Miss Laurie and run away with her Mom. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw Miss Laurie and her Mom standing nose to nose.  

Jenna’s Mom pulled an arm back and slapped Miss Laurie in the face. Her foster mom’s cheeks turned red, but she wasn’t running away. Miss Laurie stepped forward menacingly. With a yelp, Jenna’s Mom turned around, ran out of the house, jumped in her car and drove away, almost hitting a parked car as she sped down the street.