Here is Chris in a nutshell; I’m an optimist with a chip on my shoulder.
This chip is well-earned. It was earned by years of eating the garbage of people the world deemed better than me. It came from being looked down on, lied to and shutout of parts of life others thought I shouldn’t be privy to. A life of injustices, big and small, gave me this chip.
This chip remains hidden under a vale of fatherhood, being a husband or trying to maintain this good life I’ve created for myself, but it never goes away. A lot like the foster kid in me that I can’t shake, this chip is probably going to be with me forever. Dormant. Until…
Until I see injustice. Then, like Peter Parker’s Spidey Senses, the hairs on my arm shoot up and I am compelled to step up. Been this way my whole life. Has gotten me in a mess of trouble over the years, but when someone needs a hero, I want to be that hero. (Works in car accident situations too. Lived next to a major highway years ago, found myself running out to help people involved in crashes on a monthly basis.)
Recently my radar was going bananas and I wasn’t sure why. Then it scrolled across my screen; discrimination. Get ready for a rare phenomenon; I’m going to voice an opinion.
Over the winter months it was discovered that some foster care placement agencies in Philadelphia were turning away perfectly good, enthusiastic, potential foster parents because of their sexual preferences.
I’ve gone toe to toe with this issue once before. Back in Year One of this magazine I reported on the decisions of agencies in Illinois who didn’t want to comply with a new state law allowing LGBTQ couples to adopt and foster. I ran the story and for the next two months I received phone calls about potential lawsuits. I had a lawyer who works with me make a call or two and the calls to my phone ended.
I could write a miniseries that would run for a week about why it is wrong to discriminate against folks in the LGBTQ community, though that wouldn’t accomplish anything but really compelling television. I could give you a paragraph in which I eloquently explain to you that love has no direction, landing where it chooses. That’s not really my style. I got this far due to my skill of relying on my common sense. So, let’s take that approach.
People, repeat after me; THERE AREN’T ENOUGH DAMN FOSTER PARENTS!
Let’s put aside the issue of caring about who someone sleeps with. I know the LGBTQ friends that I have wish everyone would put it to the side and let them live their lives, but that’s neither here nor there. Put that to the side. Look at it from an Employer perspective. You make trash compactors when they first came out. You’re a huge hit. Orders out the wazoo. There are a million sinks in the country and they all want to add compactors. You haven’t got enough employees. You’ve got a stack of applications that could solve that problem. Are you turning away quality employees because they drive a Ford? No? Why not? Because it doesn’t make any damn sense to turn away a potential star employee based on a personal preference.
That’s how I see this situation. You are turning away potential life savers for kids who need saved.
I came up in religious schools. I was an altar boy for a time. Read nearly every religious text that was out there in the years I was trying to figure out who I was. I come to the table with the skills to talk to you in the context that you believe. I can also site areas of various religious pillars that would rebuke your interpretation of what God or Allah or Buddha expects of you. With these skills comes the responsibility to use them only when necessary and to never start a debate unprovoked. It isn’t my job to tell you what to believe or what not to believe. My job is to relay to you the real-world effects these views have on the foster care community.
We’ve got nearly half a million kids in care. Some of them sleep in hotels. Some in offices. Some leave for the night to fend for themselves and then face repercussions when they don’t get to school on time the next morning. Some of them are forced to run away, head to familiar ground in the hopes of seeing a friendly face that can help. This is the real world of foster care. THERE AREN’T ENOUGH DAMN FOSTER PARENTS!
We are overrun as a system with children. We are starving for willing foster parents.
To me, the religious tenets of caring for the children, supersedes any tenets about sexual relations.
The world has changed, the churches, for the most part, have changed with it. Things that were thought to be steadfastly wrong are no longer seen as such. Life and faith should be handled as what it is; an ever-evolving practice.
The underlying lessons of nearly all faith are simple; take care of others and treat others the way you wish to be treated. Excluding groups go against those lessons. That’s common sense.
Should the investigations bring anything other than a group exercising a perceived right to work with who they like (which would be completely acceptable if they weren’t receiving state funds, even as a private group they will receive state funds) then I will be sure to do a more in-depth article about the issue. In all honesty, with the legislation of new anti-LGBTQ laws in several states, I’m going to have to cover it again sooner rather than later.
My opinion has been stated clearly. I welcome any backlash I may receive.
I make no apologies for the chip on my shoulder. I make no apologies for being compelled to speak up for anyone who is being marginalized. I make no apologies for calling out injustices. I will field the calls. I will take the lawsuit threats on the chin. I’ll stand tall with those who want to help kids. Who they love has little impact on my loyalty.
THERE AREN’T ENOUGH DAMN FOSTER PARENTS! Let’s fix that.
May is Foster Care Awareness Month. So get out there and advocate your tails off!
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski