They Never Showed Up

Mom and Dad were not coming back.

Miss Ortiz checked on it. Jenna’s parents moved to another state. If they came back they might get arrested. Jenna did not understand, but Miss Laurie said it wasn’t her fault. 

There was some kind of court hearing. Jenna did not understand that either. Something about Mom and Dad’s parental rights getting taken away. Miss Ortiz did not look like her usual self as they sat her down in an office. She looked tired, and for the first time Jenna noticed a lot of wrinkles around the lady’s eyes. “I’m so sorry Jenna,” she said. “Your parents will not see you again.”

“What did Mom and Dad say to the judge the day she took their… their parent rights away?” Jenna asked.

“They didn’t show up in court.”

Jenna didn’t feel like talking much. She thought about her old toy, the plastic horse on wheels her Dad gave her, and she wished she still had it. She almost wished she had the old KISS shirt. Anything to remind her would have worked. She rummaged around in her box of things from her old life and realized she didn’t have a picture of Mom. I’m going to forget what she looks like, worried Jenna, just like my real Grandma. 

Grandma Sandy came by to visit. She walked Jenna to the park, and it didn’t rain. Grandma Sandy pushed her on the swings, and Jenna laughed for the first time in a week when Grandma Sandy let Jenna push her. When they trudged back to the house the laughing stopped and the heavy feeling came back—like a thick fog was covering her, trying to weigh her down.

Jenna didn’t enjoy the things she liked, not as much. She tried getting up early to clean, but she felt so tired. One morning Laurie walked in the front room while Jenna wiped down the coffee table. Instead of the usual, “You don’t need to do that,” Laurie sat down on the couch and watched her but didn’t try to stop her. Jenna felt tired without being sleepy. She stumbled over to the couch and flopped down next to Miss Laurie, putting her head in her foster Mom’s lap. Miss Laurie stroked her hair. It felt good. Jenna wished she could go back to sleep, but sleep would not come.

School was okay. Miss Teak had to pick five kids to go read with some kindergartners. The teacher usually picked the fantastic readers like Neva or Mon-Unique, but this time Jenna got to go. Jenna smiled a little and was glad in a worn-out way. She read some of the baby books to the little kids, and she even got a little curly haired boy to finish the sentences for her as they read through the book. She noticed the book seemed familiar as they read: 

JENNA: I gave a bone to the little…
BOY: dog.
JENNA: He sat on a hollow…
BOY: log.
JENNA: And he chased a green…
BOY: frog.

“I bet he ate like a big, fat hog,” the boy said, laughing. Jenna smiled too. It was a real smile, not a fake one, but she felt sad inside at the same time.  

She didn’t need to worry about forgetting Mom’s face. She started thinking she saw her everywhere. When Miss Laurie took her to a grocery store, a woman passed by who wore a faded, green dress just like one her Mom used to have. Jenna’s heart leapt inside of her and she shouted, “Mom!” and ran forward to give the woman a hug. The lady turned around before Jenna reached her and gave Jenna one of those what’s your problem looks. Jenna felt her face turn red and she mumbled, “I’m sorry,” and the lady turned away. Miss Laurie placed a hand on Jenna’s shoulder and told her, “It’s okay.”

When she played by herself she tried to think back to the things her father would say, but that only made her feel worse. It was the warnings she remembered, “You can cry later,” and, “I had worse happen to me when I was your age.” 

Mr. Dan was the best. She could “just sit” with him. He would smile at Jenna while he read a book, and she would snuggle up next to him. She could close her eyes as she leaned up close and say nothing for long periods of time. 

She and Miss Laurie started going for walks to the park. They didn’t play much there; they mostly just sat on the swings and talked. It made Jenna feel sad and a little better at the same time. 

“Grandma Sandy told me you got adopted,” said Jenna.

“I must have been a mess,” said Miss Laurie.

“Why do you say that!?” asked Jenna.

“I was in three different adoptive homes by the time I was six. None of them wanted me. They all sent me back.” 

Jenna felt like a heavy weight was pressing against her chest. It wasn’t fair!

“Why?” asked Jenna.

“I wouldn’t talk.”

“You couldn’t talk?” asked Jenna.

Miss Laurie sighed and said, “I could talk. I would not talk. Maybe I was afraid. I don’t remember.”

“So, what happened?”

“Your Grandma Sandy is what happened,” said Miss Laurie. “She adopted me when I was in kindergarten. She told me she loved me whether I talked or not.” Miss Laurie smiled. “Later, she said it took me five months before I said one word to her. People probably wish I would stop talking now.”

Jenna started to ask, “If I couldn’t talk…”

Miss Laurie hugged her and promised, “I would love you anyway, Snickle-fritz!”

Jenna got the sniffles, and the sniffles turned into a cold. She coughed and sneezed, but it didn’t turn into NOO-MOAN-YA. She missed two days of school, but Miss Laurie drove to Eagle Elementary to pick up some of her work. Jenna watched from the hallway while Miss Laurie spoke with Miss Teak. First, Valeria, then Neva and Mon-Unique started to wave at her. Jenna smiled and waved back. Jenna thought her eyes were “playing tricks on her” like they did the day she thought she saw Mom. A boy in the back of the room waved and jumped up and down trying to get her attention. Her eyes were not lying to her. It was Colton, and he was back in class. She waved back. Before she realized it, the side of her mouth curled into a smile.