Story of Forgiveness

Forgiveness: “I know that there is no one so righteous that they have not wronged another, financially or physically, through deed or speech. This pains my heart within me, because wrongs between humans and their fellow are not atoned by any holiday, until the wronged one is appeased.”

“Thus the "reward" for forgiving others is not God's forgiveness for wrongs done to others, but rather help in obtaining forgiveness from the other person.”

How do we forgive a foster parent who has mentally abused a foster child or young adult using parental alienation strategies or a person who has aided this foster parent? They have brainwashed a foster child to hate or fear their loving foster parent who they now have eliminated from their life. This is parental alienation and is evil.

Aiding a foster parent includes those who have intentionally looked the other way, knowing the foster child or young adult was being ripped from the loving arms of their foster parent as the sacred parent/child bond was being broken. Worse, many of those who looked the other way received financial or other benefits at the expense of harming the psychological and physical health of this innocent child or young adult and loving parent.

This is very evil so how can we forgive?

How do we know this once evil foster parent or other person will not change back and become evil again?

Alienating foster parents are liars and manipulators as are those who aid them; they are smooth operators.

Remember those who aid alienating foster parents are smooth operators. Like politicians, often try to sell forgiveness; have angel eyes and a cold heart. Be cautious and see what they DO consistently.

There is no concrete answer but I have always found that although one may lie, his or her behaviors do not lie over a period of time; they can only act or pretend for so long. Look at how they treat others.

I hope all of us have the opportunity to decide whether we can truly forgive an alienating foster parent or a person who has aided him or her. The Judge I clerked for taught me to cautiously and slowly give people the benefit of the doubt with your eyes and ears wide open.

Hurt people, hurt people so also maybe if we can show these alienators kindness they will begin to understand that when you walk in gratitude you will live in grace.

Thus, they will truly appreciate our hand we extended to them as a positive gesture in hopes of a positive change. Maybe this will encourage them to develop new habits and behaviors and not change back but transform and even help others transform. We can only hope as we keep moving forward trying to bring freedom to those suffering from the mental abuse of Parental Alienation including millions of foster children and their loving foster parent.

Have hope but be cautious too. As Chris Chmielewski wrote in the August edition of Foster Focus Magazine:

As important as it is for people to know what foster care feels like, it is equally important for people to see that we have turned out well. That we (kids from care) can become viable members of society, even if we don't play in the NFL or record an album. We are doctors, lawyers, social workers, magazine owners and advocates. We have families of our own. We adopt. We foster. We are involved. We are a voice and a loud one at that. We are over a million strong. Though we have lost some of our foster brothers and sisters to the system or the street, we continue to thrive and assemble. I've said it before but it bears repeating. If we got all of the foster care alumni from across the nation in one place, it would rival the population of Atlanta, Georgia! So we are out there. We are influencing legislation, rules in agencies and the way information about care is spread. We are working with foster kids and teaching everyone else's kids. We own our own businesses and impact the economy.

Have hope and keep showing kindness and good values to others as we make a difference for many children suffering from the mental abuse of Parental Alienation. We are helping to make others understand this abuse and set the minds of these foster children free so they can act the way THEY choose.