The Rescue Was Worse...

When Ashley was born, her mother wasn’t ready to be a mom. She partied at night and slept all day, leaving Ashley unfed and unchanged… that is, until Aunt Jenny would show up. She would feed Ashley and change her diaper. She did what she could before she had to go home to her own family. She wanted to take the baby, but Ashley’s mother wouldn’t let her, and her husband didn’t want to raise someone else’s child.

When Ashley was about a year old, her mother finally relented and let Aunt Jenny take the baby. Jenny’s husband was unhappy about the arrangement, and made it clear to Ashley that she wasn’t welcome there. In some ways, this rescue was worse than her previous situation because when Ashley would spill milk or make any kind of mistake, her uncle beat her. He treated his own daughter very well, buying her clothes and toys, but Ashley got nothing.

When Ashley was 12, her uncle hit her in the face so hard that it tore her eardrum. The next day at school, Ashley jumped in the pool with the rest of the kids for swimming during that day’s p.e. When the water hit her torn eardrum, she cried out in pain and was taken to the school nurse. She didn’t intend to tell the nurse what her uncle had done, but as the nurse asked questions, the truth came out. It wasn’t long after that Ashley went home from school to find everything she owned stuffed into a small suitcase. She was taken away by Child Protective Services. She was moved through six different foster homes and schools in just three short years. This rescue seemed worse than living with her aunt and uncle because at least she had the stability of one home and one school.

When Ashley was 15, she was notified that her biological father had been located. Ashley had never met him, and knew nothing about him, but she was excited by the possibility of getting out of foster care and being with someone she could call family—real family. Ashley lived in Texas, and her father was in California, so when she boarded that plane for California, she was leaving everything and everyone she had ever known. She was scared but excited for the future. Her father had promised to love her and to make up for all the years he’d missed. Finally, she would be wanted and loved. But again, the rescue turned out to be worse than the circumstances she was rescued from.

Ashley’s father signed her up for school, took her shopping for all the clothes she needed, and quickly became her best friend. Finally, she was safe. But then one night, the unthinkable happened. Her father snuck into her room and sexually abused her. She was in shock. Everything she thought was true turned out to be a lie. She had no one to turn to. She was afraid to call the police or to tell anyone at school because she was afraid to go back into foster care. She hoped it would stop, but it did not.

When she couldn’t take it anymore, she told her high school counselor what was happening. Her father was arrested, tried, convicted, and sentenced to six years in prison. Ashley went back into foster care.

As Ashley was nearing the end of her high school years, she read an article about a biological father who had imprisoned his daughter in a cellar for 24 years. The daughter had 9 children by her own father. Ashley realized then that although she had gone through some tough stuff, it could have been much worse. Her father could have locked her up or even killed her to hide his actions. Ashley was grateful to the reporter who wrote that article that led to the shift in her thinking. She decided that she had two choices. She could be angry OR she could determine to live the life she wanted to live. She figured that if she tried to make it on her own and failed, she would at least know that she had tried. So, she finished high school and went on to get her bachelor’s degree in marketing from Cal State Long Beach.

Ashley talks about how that reporter changed her life by simply doing his job. Now she is trying to help others by doing her work of selling custom imprinted promotional products for Doing Good Works, a company that hires and trains foster alumni. Ashley says, “I want to change the world by inspiring and motivating people to help foster kids, single moms, and everyone whose life is less fortunate, through a simple transaction like purchasing a pen.”