I didn't believe change could happen. Not for me or for other people. Much of my life I had seen people fall into the same patterns they tried so hard to
break. Promises were constantly broken, and even when someone vowed to change their ways, somehow they just found different ways to do the same
thing. I have struggled with raising my voice because I have been let down so many times. Believing in a bright turn of events was unlikely.
At the end of last year I was mandated through NYC’s Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) to attend an alternative high school program called
Y.E.S. in order for my case to be closed and not to be dragged further into the mess of social services. After being enrolled in the Y.E.S. program for
some time I felt the need to be a part of something that connected me back to the arts. You see, I'm a dancer. I love entertaining others and I wanted to
be back on a stage.
One day before class, one of my vocational workers let me know that a person from a theatre program called The Possibility Project was coming by to
audition students who wanted to take part. At first I was unsure if I wanted to be a part of this kind of organization. I'd never acted before, and it seemed
like a huge commitment for something that I had no background in. I decided to wait and let the person who was coming talk about the program. The
person who was holding the auditions was an Artistic Director, Kenny Phillips. He explained that no one would be chosen on the basis of talent, that the
point of the program was to “change the world,” that we would be discussing all the current events and subjects that were problematic within our
communities, foster care, and the world, and that we would be building a musical out of our work together. I listened and wondered “how could I change
the world?” Social action connected to the arts? I still can’t say why, but I dismissed my cynical inner dialogue and decided to audition anyway.
After the audition was over, I had this urge to be a part of whatever this would become. It was clear that this experience would build my acting skills and
satisfy my love for music and dance by allowing me to be part of a musical. What I didn't realize was that The Possibility Project would change my life.
The Possibility Project runs three year-long programs in New York City. Two are open to all young people and one is for foster care youth only, which I
am so thankful to now be apart of.
All of The Possibility Project’s programs are youth-led. Which makes the environment wonderful. Usually there is such a strict, instilled hierarchy within
youth programs, especially for foster care youth, where anything but what the adults say is wrong. In this program we have a lot of say in what makes up
the end result of the musical that we write based on stories that come from our own lives. We also generate community action projects where we find
ways to make the city better, not only for us but for all the residences in the boroughs. One of the musicals created by youth in the Foster Care
program was even made into a movie called “Know How,” which was also written and acted by them. It has gone on to screen at 17 film festivals across
the U.S. and Europe and won 8 awards. The film is another way for foster care youth to be recognized in the mainstream media, and for us to raise
awareness of the problems with it and how we can change a system that just doesn’t work. It’s amazing what we are accomplishing. But I didn’t know
any of this when I auditioned that day.
When I started with The Possibility Project, the mission seemed far from reach. How could a small cast (we are 20 youth) be big enough to truly make
any noticeable difference in the world? It was just a nice concept to me; my main focus remained doing what I loved, performing. When I started coming
to rehearsals though, I got excited by what we were doing. It was one of the few places I was able to speak freely. I felt liberated being heard. It felt
good not to have my opinions invalidated because of my gender, age,ethnicity, or foster care status. During the progression of the rehearsals from
simple to deep, I started to realize that this program was not about competition or validation or talent, it was about building a close knit community with
my cast. We talked about race, class, and gender, and how it has shaped us as individuals. We found reflection time to examine our own lives and then
make art that was authentic. I had to look at parts of myself I never knew were there. I found that I didn't have to limit myself to what my abilities were
and I had the capability to evolve my skills and be able to access my emotions. I have always been a controlled and private person with my emotions,
and to be able to feel them without letting them take control was a big achievement for me. I also questioned things I had never considered before. I
thought more about people's narrow views not always being there own faults, but their limited access to information. I realized that without growing as a
person, I would never grow as an artist or as a friend or family member. Realizing that what I was a part of much more than an arts program made the
mission clear, and more important than ever. In order to change the world we must start with ourselves, because then we've already changed one
person, and that in itself is the start.
There's a point toward the middle of the year in which we share our life stories. All of us in the foster care cast have gone through experiences that
have made us hesitant to opening up and letting people in. At a young age, we have all mastered masking how we felt. Sharing our past seemed
daunting at first. But we built our community by taking the leap of learning to trust one another and sharing our stories. I remember one of my close
friends stepping up to share his story, and him saying he was scared. We all were. In that moment I saw him let go. He didn't have to be who everyone
else wanted him to be. It was ok for him to be vulnerable and exposed, because there was no one in that room that was going to hold that against him. I
shared things with my cast, too, that I haven’t shared with some of my friends that I've known for a long time. Every one of us was able to open up in a
space that felt so safe that you'd stop holding back. I knew for certain that this was something special. It's so rare to talk about your life in detail and not
feel judged, to be welcomed to say everything and have a supportive and love-filled room with you while you talk about things that hurt to look back on.
After sharing life stories, I felt close to everyone.
My cast’s show is November 19-22 of this year and as we are getting closer to showtime. I am seeing how the development of the show is mirroring the
development of our relationships. We are getting quicker at being able to see what works and what doesn't. We can play off of each other and know
where someone is going to go directionally with a decision before they make it. We have all grown into a symbiotic life form where things are second
nature, and we are no longer acting with just ourselves but as a true ensemble. We move as one.
Being in the program, I have become more aware with not only who I am, but who I want to become in relation to the world. I realize that we can give
others a voice who have no luxury to speak. On opening night it will be more than just a show, it will be an experience - on that stage we will come
together, we will lift our voices, share our stories, and our audiences will look at what we need to change. But I will not be the only one on that stage - it
will be me and my cast members, along with all the young people who have gone through The Possibility Project before me.
And there will be thousands more foster care youth after me who will participate in what we are doing, which makes me see that change will happen. I
know now that it can, even for those of us in foster care. Because the program changed me and it has changed my cast. And together we will change
our audiences and then change the world wherever we go. When you help other people who have gone through the same things you have, it is easier
to see just how much of a difference your voice can make.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski