Listening To Those Who Lived It

THIS MONTH IS RHONDA SCIORTINO'S VIEW

With traffickers saying just the right things to appeal to young girls and boys who have already been used and abused, and with these foster kids thinking that the trafficker is the one who'll "rescue" them out of foster care, how are we going to help these kids help themselves?

Thirty years in the insurance industry has taught me that it's important to ask questions, lots of questions. Listen carefully to the answers, add your own insight, and then use the information to find avoidance strategies. I've asked questions and listened carefully to many experts in the field, but the people I really want to pay close attention to are the rescued survivors of trafficking.

Last month I had an opportunity to do just that. On October 23, 2013, the House Ways and Means Committee on Human Resources held a hearing on foster kids who have become involved in sex trafficking. Everyone who testified had meaningful comments, but the person who captured my attention (and my heart) was a young lady who is a trafficking survivor, Withelma Ortiz Walker Pettigrew, who goes simply by "T."

"T" was articulate, prepared, and spoke out clearly and effectively. She was concise, but everything she said spoke volumes to me. Based on what I heard, I believe there is much that we can do to prevent kids from being lured by traffickers. How? Through education of the people who interact with foster kids every day—foster families, teachers, and social workers.

"T" gave us some important insight about the signs that a kid is becoming involved with a trafficker. She said to watch for multiple cell phones. Tattoos can represent a "branding" of sorts that a kid "belongs" to a certain trafficker. And then there's the language…there is terminology commonly used to indicate who's who within the trafficker's "organization" or "family." The language includes "green girl," meaning the new girl. Referring to every female as "bitch." Referring to other girls in the "family" as my "wife-in-law." "T" also said to watch for withdrawing and isolation.

"T" said that the labels that we place on kids who've been involved with trafficking are real and that they make it harder to overcome their experiences. She asked that we not use terms like "child prostitute" or even "prostituted child" because, as "T" said, "That's the way we see ourselves and that's the way they see their futures."

Other trafficking victims I've spoken to say similar things. Being the one who wants to get to the root of the issue, I can't help but wonder how we can fortify a wounded child's self-esteem so that when someone approaches him or her with the offer of any kind of a relationship that has the earmarks of being unhealthy that he or she would walk away. We can listen for the language and watch for the signs, and still not be able to persuade a young person not to run away with the trafficker they believe is the person who is going to "rescue" them from a life of feeling unwanted and unloved. Foster care isn't lock down. We can't force a child who wants to run to stay. So how do we make kids want to stay?

Having been one of those kids myself, I think the key to the prevention of trafficking, abusive adult relationships (domestic violence), homelessness, and myriad other ugly outcomes of foster alumni is for us to value ourselves. We begin to value ourselves when others value us. When we value ourselves, we tend to make better decisions. When we make better decisions, we get better outcomes.

Perhaps one of the most powerful things that "T" said in her comments before the House Ways & Means Committee was that at 13 years old, she had no understanding that what she was being lured into was wrong. She had no concept of what a healthy relationship looked like.

There are two very important things we can draw from "T's" testimony. Perhaps the most effective prevention measure is to show (not just tell) foster kids what good, healthy relationships look like so that they'll be more equipped to choose healthy relationships for themselves. The mitigation strategy would be to include in the continuing education for foster parents, teachers, and social workers training on the warning signs so that early intervention is possible.

This is part one of a two-part article focused on prevention. Be sure to check in with us next month for Dr. Sandie Morgan's perspective and insights on preventing trafficking of vulnerable kids.