Melo
Melo was tall and cute and all grown up. He was cool. He looked kind of like a grown-up Justin Bieber. He had the right look, wore the cool clothes, and rocked big, expensive sunglasses—the same kind Kanye West wears. He drove a brand new Camaro with a scoop on the hood. It sounded like a race car and looked like it was going a hundred miles an hour when it was standing still. Carmelo was his real name, but the people he let in close to him called him Mello. He had his own place. He was 26. He was the guy everyone wanted to be close to, but only a few actually got into his private domain.
I met him at a friend’s house. He was my friend’s brother’s friend. I knew instantly that he was the one for me. At first he acted like I wasn’t even there, but my friend and I came up with about 400 reasons why we had to go into the garage where the guys were hanging out. Finally Melo said, “Hi.” I felt butterflies in my stomach. He looked me up and down like he was sizing me up. Then he looked me in the eyes for what seemed like a long time, and I guess right then he knew he had me.
I liked how it felt to be the one Melo was looking at. I liked it so much that I wanted to show him whatever he wanted to see. I started hanging out at my friend’s house every day after school, hoping that Carmelo would come by. As soon as I’d get there, I’d unbutton one or two buttons on my blouse and roll up the bottom of my shorts; or if I was wearing a skirt, I’d take my underwear off to be sure to get his attention.
Melo started texting me to see if I’d be there when he got there. It didn’t matter if it was in the middle of the school day or the middle of the night; I always texted him right back. He asked me to take a “selfie” so he’d always have a picture of me with him, so I did. But then he said he wanted to see more of me. He told me he wanted a picture that nobody else had—to see what nobody else had ever seen. By this time I would’ve done just about anything he asked, so I gave him what he asked for. If I’d only known then about the pain I was inviting.
As soon as Melo would get to my friend’s house, I wanted to go out into the garage to hang around with the guys. My friend got mad at me because I didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. I didn’t want to go to the mall like we used to do. I just wasn’t into all the dumb stuff we used to find so fun. I didn’t care about any of that anymore.
By that time Carmelo was hanging out with me. He was talking to me about places he had been and things he had done. My life was so boring compared to his. He always had money. I had nothing. He talked about doing fun things; and unless he’d pay for me to go, there’s no way I could ever think about doing the fun stuff he talked about. And when Melo started talking about going away for a while, I did everything I could to get him to take me with him.
Home
My dad left when I was little. My mom says she has no idea where he is. I guess he doesn’t want us to know where he is because he might actually have to help support me. I always think I’m going to hear from him around Christmas or on my birthday, but that’s a stupid fantasy. He’s obviously moved on.
My mom dated several guys, but I didn’t like any of her boyfriends. None of those guys ever lasted around us for very long anyway. Mom worked, so she wasn’t home a lot. When she was off work, she was either out on a date or she was tired and bitchy from having to clean and do laundry. I tried to help, but I could never do anything good enough to make her happy. We either had one-word conversations or we got into a fight. There was no in between with us.
We lived in a little apartment in a bad part of town. I guess it’s all Mom could afford. I used to see my grandma once in a while, but she drinks a lot so she doesn’t drive much anymore. I was only thirteen, so I didn’t drive yet; and I couldn’t afford a car even if I was old enough to have a driver’s license, so I couldn’t go see her.
One of our old neighbors used to invite me to eat with her family some times. They used to take me with them to their church before they moved away. Their daughter was about my age. We were in the same grade at school. They moved only about 20 minutes away, but I guess they forgot about me because they never came back to take me with them after they moved.
He Loved Me
Then it finally happened. The great Carmelo and I hooked up. We were at my friend’s house, and he said he was going to get something to eat; he asked if I wanted to go along. There hadn’t been anything to eat at my house in a couple of days, so I was hungry; I jumped at the chance to go. After we went through the drive-through, Melo found a place to park. When we were done eating, he started kissing me and touching me, and the next thing I knew, we were doing it. I’d never done that before, but I didn’t want him to know that. He was this experienced, older guy, so I didn’t want him to think I was just some stupid kid.
It wasn’t long before Melo and I quit hanging out at my friend’s house. I’d go there so he could pick me up without my mom finding out, and we’d go to his place. I didn’t think my mom would care all that much, but Melo didn’t want anyone to know about us. He’s a really private person, he said. He took me to eat, which was great since there was never much food at my house. Sometimes he took me to the movies, and one time he took me shopping. He bought me clothes and shoes, and he even paid for me to have long, acrylic nails put on. I knew he loved me because of the way he spent money on me.
Even though a few days might go by in between seeing him, he always came back to me. He never called me in between times, and he never responded to my calls or texts. I figured he was working, so I didn’t bug him about it. One time I asked where he’d been and what he’d been doing, and he got really mad at me. I never meant to make him mad. I had seen him mad at a couple guys one time, and I knew that an angry Melo was something I didn’t want to see again, so I never, ever called, texted, or asked where he had been again.
Looking back on it now, I guess I just wanted someone to love me—really love me. Just for who I was.
Part of the Family
I guess by this time we’d been together about three weeks, which was a long time for me. I was doing whatever Melo wanted me to do. I knew that other girls liked him, and I didn’t want to lose him. He’d ask for pictures, and I’d send them—whatever and however he wanted. And whatever he wanted to do to me, I’d let him. Even when it didn’t feel good or even hurt, it was Melo—so I went along with it. Then he told me he had decided to take me away with him. Wow! I had finally made it! I was the one he chose to go away with. I was so excited.
I ran home and threw my stuff into a big trash bag (I didn’t have a suitcase) and I waited for Melo to pick me up. My mom wasn’t home, so I left her a note saying that she wouldn’t have me to yell at any more because I was leaving. I didn’t tell her where we were going, because I didn’t have a clue where we would end up. And I wouldn’t have told her anyway.
As soon as Melo pulled up, I threw my bag of stuff in the backseat and jumped in. I was just settling in, rocking out to the music and excited to be getting out of town. But then a weird thing happened. We didn’t get very far, when Melo pulled off the freeway and pulled into the parking lot of a hotel where we’d been many times before. What?! I thought we were going on a trip. Now here we were at this old, yucky hotel. Melo told me to wait in the car while he paid for the room. He came out of the little office, turned toward the car, and called out the room number. I knew I was supposed to wait a few minutes and then go up to that room. I did what I knew was expected of me, but what was different this time was that when I opened the door to that room, Melo wasn’t there. There were three big, scary looking guys all in there waiting for me.
I must have looked confused as I looked around and didn’t see Carmelo. But before I could even ask where Carmelo was or what was going on, the guy closest to the door jumped up, slammed the door, and locked it. One of the guys was smiling at me—a totally creepy smile. I asked what was going on, and one of the guys looked up from the phone he was staring at and turned the phone around. I stopped breathing for a minute when I saw what he’d been looking at.
My stomach dropped when I realized that he was looking at a picture of me totally naked. He had one of the pictures I had sent to Carmelo. And before I could say a word, he started flipping through other pictures…of me. One after the next, all the pictures I’d ever taken for Carmelo, and the ones I’d let him take of me, were all on this guy’s phone. I couldn’t say anything, and I felt like I was going to throw up. Then another guy pulled out his phone, and I saw that the home screen on his phone was of ME. He flipped to one picture that Carmelo had taken and said, “This is what I want—now.” And when he said the word “NOW,” he put his big hand on the top of my head and pushed me down on the bed.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski