There are an estimated 12 million people in the United States who have been touched by foster care. And because former foster youth don’t
wear signs on their heads or necessarily talk about their experiences, it may be difficult to determine who they are, but chances are good if you ask around you will find
that you have a connection to more than one former foster child.
Sadly, when we hear about foster care it is when something tragic happens; such as the terrible death of the Powell children at the hands of their father. Experts from all
around the country and world will weigh in about the failings of the foster care system and the effects it has on the children it is suppose to serve and protect.
There are over 400,000 children in the foster care system and if we can rely on historical data to predict the future, we know that a large number of those children will
face enormous challenges when they leave care. From ongoing mental health issues, drug and alcohol use, lower education achievements, imprisonment, and more. They
also suffer from poor self-esteem, depression, a loss of their identity and culture, and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
Yet, even though the odds are stacked against former foster youth, there are a great number that overcome these challenges and find success in life. In some cases, they
become well known celebrities such as Michael Oher whose life story was made into a movie called the Blind Side. Or the comedian Eddie Murphy who was
introduced to the world when he was a star on Saturday Night Live and who went on to be a famous movie star.
But, for many former youth, they may never reach the celebrity status; instead, they find success in other ways. The lessons they learned in foster care have propelled
them to work hard, make their own path in life, and to face challenges with their head high. Their time in care provided them with a road map of what to expect out of
life. Their self reliance and ability to adapt helps them as they navigate the challenges of growing up without a family for support. Former foster youth may have
developed the ability to work with people from different cultures or backgrounds and personalities, as they may have grown up in homes that changed daily or weekly.
They are able to take the lessons learned from their time in care and apply them to find success. This doesn’t mean that they don’t struggle with their past, but they
choose to use what they learned to propel them through life.
For example, Chris Chmielewski, the editor of this magazine provides the following tips that helped him after he left foster care:
1. Know that this is just a segment of your life, there will be many more to come.
2. Focus your anger on preparing yourself to leave care.
3. Watch everything and everyone. Learning how other successful people behave
shows you the path to success.
4. Get over yourself and your current situation; the future won’t wait for you to
heal your wounds.
5. This experience will make you stronger than any adversary you’ll ever face.
Did success happen to Chris overnight? No, he had to work hard and remain focused on the future. And although he faced his challenges, he knew that his future was
what he put into it. He could not allow his past to hold him back.
Lynn Price was placed in foster care as an infant and spent the next 18 years of her life in foster care. She could have easily become a negative statistic, refusing to
believe that she could make a difference in the world. Instead, as an adult she started an organization called Camp To Belong. This camp was created to provide a place
for siblings who were separated when they entered foster care, to reconnect and enjoy one another’s company. Lynn had no idea that what she started eleven years ago
would spread to eight states and Australia. She contributes her success to the people that came into her life during her time in foster care.
To reach your goals, she suggests:
1. Surround yourself with people who support with sincerity, accept without judgment
and love unconditionally.
2. Choose to be a victor, and not a victim.
3. Have a vision for where change has to happen in your life and take action.
4. Do not allow yourself to be called a foster kid, you are a kid first in foremost. Do not be
a youth in foster care. Be a youth who cares.
5. Put triumph over tragedy!!
Lynn now travels the country sharing her story and experiences with others to help them see the potential in their lives.
Another alumnus, Derek Clark overcame a life of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his parents. He father attempted to kill him and his mother abandoned
him when he was five. He spent years being angry at others and could have easily strayed down the wrong path. But, he realized that he didn’t want that type of life and
as a young adult he refocused his life. Today, he is a much sought after motivational speaker, musician, and author. His tips for success include:
1. Never let your past infect your future.
2. You cannot think negative and discouraging thoughts and expect to live a positive
and rewarding life.
3. You are not defined by your parent’s mistakes; you define you. Own yourself.
4. Live in this moment right now, never live in the past.
5. I love the quote “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading
the last one.”-Unknown
Lynn, Chris and Derek’s stories are just three out of millions of youth that have made a successful
transition from foster care to adulthood. To help highlight others, Foster Care Alumni of America has started a program called Pillars of Success. This program will
allow alumni of the foster care system to highlight their achievements and to share their tips for overcoming the challenges in their lives. The hope is that their stories will
help inspire and provide guidance to others who may be struggling to achieve their goals. Each month one alumnus will be chosen to be highlighted on their website,
newsletters, e-blasts and social media sites.
So, although the foster care system has a long way to go to improve the outcomes for youth in foster care, we do know that there are many youth who do overcome the
challenges they face and find success in their lives.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski