One Sunday afternoon in 1999, I was hanging out in my favorite place--Barnes and Noble. I was in the business section as usual, when I spotted this little book called Win-Win-Win. I piled it on top of the stack of books I had already gathered and made my way to the cash register. What happened next changed my life.
I began to read that little book, and could not put it down. With each page was either a revelation of new information I’d wanted to know or confirmation that I was on the right track. I underlined, highlighted, made notes in the margins, and listed the action steps that I’d take the following Monday at work. The first of those steps had to be done immediately. It was to get on the internet and find the author of that book.
You can imagine my shock when, after dialing the number I found on the internet, the author, himself, actually answered. I introduced myself and told him that I’d just read through Win-Win-Win in a single sitting, and how I wish I’d known all that he wrote about when I first emancipated from foster care. How everything in that book was exactly what I’d needed to create my own success. How if I’d had his book, I could have saved an
ocean of tears and many years of heartache. I thought that would be the end of the conversation, but Brian Molitor was intrigued. He was a consultant and trainer to corporations, community and faith leaders, and even to governments, but that his material was of help to a former foster kid was a surprise. He wanted to know more. What followed was something I could never have predicted.
Brian Molitor cleared his corporate speaking and training calendar for two years to turn the materials in Win-Win-Win and his corporate employee trainings into a program for transition-aged foster youth. The resulting program, which he refers to as MITI (Molitor International Training Initiative) has since been used for teens in various circumstances. The material is valuable for every teen, and it turns out, for just about everyone who wants to create his or her own success. MITI has been run in church summer camps, child welfare organizations, and school districts. The kids who complete the program are forever changed by the information and empowerment they receive in MITI.
That day in Barnes and Noble launched a friendship with Brian and Kathy Molitor and their family. I recently caught up with my friend to interview him on his thoughts about success after foster care.
Rhonda: There is a lot of talk today about the next generation and their problems in society, what is your take on it?
Every generation should get better, not worse. Opportunities should abound, young people should be wiser, more compassionate, better equipped and better protected than the one before…sadly, that’s not the case. Way too many young people have been abandoned physically, emotionally or relationally by the very people that have a sacred duty to watch over them. The result is a crisis for boys and girls across our nation. Let’s be clear. This crisis is an equal opportunity mess…affecting youth of all races, demographics, ages, and genders.
Rhonda: Where did all of this begin? What caused or causes it?
There’s not just a single answer to it. There are many smaller tributaries combining to make a rushing river. To start with, the traditional family structure has been disintegrating for several generations. Contrary to some of the “experts,” having a father and mother, married and committed to each other, raising their children is a pretty good model that worked for a long, long time. In today’s world, single parents are doing their best to raise children on their own, pay the bills, take care of their homes, and somehow succeed as an individual in what is better played as a “team sport”.
Also, it’s pretty common these days to have grandparents raising their grandbabies. Thank God for anyone willing to stand in the gap for the children, but this is not ideal either.
The result of the breakdown of the family is predictable. Children often don’t get the attention, love, correction, instruction, and more that they need.
There’s another aspect of this that troubles me. The age of innocence has dropped while the age of independence has risen significantly. By this I mean that very young children today are exposed to mass media, TV, internet images and concepts that do damage to their minds, souls and world views. The fact that there are fewer opportunities out there for young people wanting to enter the workforce and launch into a career makes it very challenging. It’s certainly not impossible, but it is difficult. The average young person often needs a hand to get on the path toward self-sufficiency and success.
Rhonda: There are lots of programs out there that are trying to address these issues, what’s working?
Let me put on my strategic planning hat and start with what’s not working and why. You see, the way you define a problem dictates how you will solve it. Too many organizations, government, local and others, have defined the problem as a lack of employment for young people. They see youth on the street, read the statistics about drug abuse, teen pregnancy, crime, etc. and conclude that if the young people were employed, then they wouldn’t spend their time in self or community destructive activities. Now comes the “therefore”… So, therefore, what young people need today are skills to get a job. Once they reach that conclusion, the next logical thing is to put together a program that teaches young men and women: Resume writing, interviewing skills, dress for success, how to do a job search, etc.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski