SANDIE:
I was sitting next to a colleague at a dinner meeting who has two boys. One just turned five and the other will soon be heading to Kindergarten. My colleague’s eyes were glassy as she talked about her mixed feelings about her sons growing up. Her husband is a professor at Vanguard University, and she had previously directed the Counseling Center there before taking a break to be more available to her sons. I told her I admired her and loved watching these little guys grow up on our shared FB community. She then told me that they are going to add another child to their family, a girl this time. It was my turn to get misty eyes. I was sitting next to a quiet hero in the battle against child trafficking and exploitation. This would be the third child to find a forever home through a foster adoption and the third child to suddenly have the three things we want for all of our children in child welfare: safety, permanency and well-being. This is the best prevention!! In Child Welfare it is referred to as Family Centered Practice.
There are two principles that should be understood at the beginning. First, Family Centered Practice supports the family of origin, to preserve and strengthen from every possible perspective. However, the first requirement is safety. Unfortunately, when safety is not possible, children must be removed. When that is the case, it is important to move quickly to permanency and well-being.
I remember meeting Dr. Jeremy Kohomban, CEO and President of The Children’s Village in New York. I had read about their multiple residential programs, but when I commended his work, he shook his head and explained that residential care is a last resort and always temporary. Every child needs a permanent home. Later, as I listened to his presentation at our Ensure Justice conference, I began to understand the cycle of loss and trauma that a child experiences with every move. Yes, making sure a child is safe is our first order of business, but not the hardest part.
It is the same in recovering child victims of human trafficking. First, we assure their safety, but then what? Where do they find a home where they can flourish? I realize that we need to have temporary residential homes for victims to assure their safety. However, we need to develop permanency and well-being plans to follow very quickly. Without that, many adolescent and young adult victims return to their victimizers because of the (albeit perverted) sense of home and family. Those with the opportunity to testify against their trafficker are sometimes reluctant for similar reasons.
When Dr. Jeremy Kohomban closed his presentation to our conference attendees in 2012, he made an argument that the need for permanency was something we can do something about. He challenged the faith based community to open their homes to a child.
What if forever families were lined up, ready to provide permanency and well-being when children are removed for their safety? When they are offered what looks like a “way out” of family violence, sexual abuse, substance/addition environment, the risk doesn’t seem very far from what they are already experiencing but might be a home. The choices a youth makes are often critically evaluated by the adults in their life. Other adults suggest that if we just tell them the risks, if we warned them and equipped them with red flags, they would be safe. When a child has a stable home and a general sense of well-being, the juxtaposition of their choice is much different from their status quo and therefore does not have the “escape appeal.” When in a safe and stable environment, the choices a youth makes have more dissonance. There are other risks, but today it is enough for me to take one of the major risks off the grid!
Here’s to my Anti child trafficking hero, a mom with two forever sons and preparing a place for a forever daughter.
RHONDA:
To Sandie’s point of having a safe, stable, “forever family” for rescued trafficking victims, SAFE FAMILIES FOR CHILDREN is working now to prepare families to take in rescued trafficking victims, to be that “extended family” that these kids don’t have. No, it isn’t a “forever” place to live, but the relationships established during the time spent with a Safe Family are forever.
For those rescued victims who don’t have a safe, stable family ready to take them in, there are a few residential programs I am aware of that do an amazing job of helping with the transition from trafficking into a new normal. Among them are Freedom Place in the Houston, TX area, which specializing in helping children under 18. This video tells a little of their story: https://vimeo.com/111891207. For more information go to www.freedomplaceus.org.
Another residential program is RESTORD, which is coming soon in southern California. It will be a free of charge, residential program for young women age 18-26 who have been rescued from sex trafficking. Their goal is to Reach, Rescue and Restore survivors of human trafficking, with a program that will provide mentoring, educational opportunities, vocational and domestic skills training and culinary arts, as well as specific classes that deal with the emotional trauma participants have suffered. The founder, Linde Raccuglia, wants every rescued victim within her influence to learn how to be an overcomer in all areas of life. She wants to restore the young women in her program to be the women God intended them to be, and to become godly leaders in their community. For more information go to www.restord.org.
To put it simply, bad relationships harm—good relationships heal. It’s that simple, but I didn’t say it was easy. One of the most challenging, yet most rewarding, things anyone can ever do is to do what I call loving a wounded person into wholeness. Some very precious “quiet heroes" did that for me, so I know it can be done, and I believe enough in the strength and resilience of the survivors to believe that they’ll be as I am, eternally grateful to those brave souls who refuse to give up.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski