When one thinks of labels they often think of the fashion industry, far often labels go beyond that and they can be empowering as well as at times devastating depending upon the context in which the label is used. So let’s examine some of the most powerful labels in which hundreds of thousands of youth know about and place a higher emphasis in our own movement.
Recently, the Supreme Court of the United States issued a decision stating that all men and women regardless of gender can wed. Meaning that as Romeo and Juliet were to be wed under the stars; so can Romeo and Mercutio upon the sandy beaches of Verona, or perhaps Juliet and Rosaline will elope quickly to city hall, thrust upon opening the doors to the outside world to show they are powerful women in love and that their commitment is worth the value that is placed upon a piece of paper issued and recognized by their governments.
It can be argued that the label here is sexuality but not at all. The label is love. Though it goes hand in hand with one’s sexuality, love is the principle beat of a person’s heart so that they can experience who they are and understand that love is undefined. In foster care, we learn that love is something that we yearn and scream to the heavens above to let others know that we want love. It sounds so simple to love someone but let’s challenge each other to take it further than just the single word and combine it with another, unconditional. Unconditional love is the one that allows us to be in love with blinders on and it is the best kind of love out there. Within this form of love there is no gender, transgression, or act of hatred because the muscle that pumps life through our bodies is intoxicated by how great it is to know that love is unconditional and returned, sometimes it even strikes at the most unique situations.
So, where are we with the movement of love beyond allowing people to marry? We are not at the critical state where it is judicially justifiable to say that a straight, gay, lesbian, or transgendered couple are fully capable of providing the type of love that foster youth deserve. When real true love is being delivered to a foster youth, we tend to go into the situation guarded as well as fearful for what we are asking for and finally receiving. Let’s change that. We need to transform the foster care system to show that a healthy relationship and bond built on love is not something to fear but embrace so that those smiles continue to outnumber the past experiences and build new memories.
What am I saying with this? We need to get away from congregated care and back to the fundamental formation of a family unity without the bias nature based on the persons willing to open their hearts to love another that is lost because they have not known the power that unconditional love can provide them. We need to do a stronger focus on establishing foster families and not foster institutions that doesn’t provide a foster youth with the stability framework that each person needs to learn to love and learn and understand that receiving love back is perfectly, exactly what we as foster youth need.
How much is spent on privatizing the foster care system is ridiculous due to the amount of youth that are in care. We have so many organizations fighting for the same monies that the focus on providing love for a foster youth is lost in bureaucracy. Policy and procedures that are conflicting, over worked staff without the proper training and resources, ensuring what a foster youth is available for when they age out of the system should not be such the audacious task that it has become to where numerous non-profits and forms make it to where you are almost set up for another system of failures because no one understands roles that need to be prioritized and implemented in a foster youths live.
The main priority of providing a loving home to a child that is in need as a PROMISING YOUTH not an “at-risk” youth. On June 26, 2015, all across America there were signs saying that “Love Wins,” so let’s apply that to more than just marriage and to the youth of our foster care system. To a promising youth, love not only wins it empowers them to excel and exceed expectations they never once imagined.
Another label that exists is one of proposal. Now, each time I personally think of this word, I envision my perfect wedding that will happen one day sooner than I imagined. It takes more than a visionary to use the word proposal because it can also lead to overwhelming positive change for one’s life. Foster youth need to be asked, what are their proposals? Provide them with skills, resources, environment, and utilities to make them a bigger success than the current 2% of foster care success stories. There is a proposal that I imagine that will have that percentage raised to at least 10% within the next five years because we need to nurture the potential that all of the foster youth are harboring because of lack of reassurance and love. Proposing that there are more conferences, round table discussions, and sit down face to face meetings with ALL stakeholders involved which include the foster youth since they are the ones whose lives we are impacting. This moves further than proposing a foster care bill of rights but a foster youth’s voice of action and opportunity.
I am Chickasaw, Mississippi Choctaw, and Cherokee. I am Indian. I am allowed the opportunity to know my culture and embrace it to the effect that it benefits bits of the core of who I am made of. The stock that I am made of; the brilliance and passion that run through my veins by proudly stating that I am Indian and desire to travel the world and exchange my culture as well as learn of other cultures. The riches in that allow as well as having a label of foster alumnus is one of the most powerful labels in which I embrace because I ensure it has a positive effect on my life and the lives of those I encounter.
Another loving proposal that will provide strength for our foster youth is their heritage. We need to examine this factor of which they are and show them who they can become because of where they come from not circumstances they were removed from. Babe Ruth, James Dean, Victoria Rowell, is all from different ethnicities that show what potential can come from foster care. Do they know their heritage, which is a question that I can’t honestly answer but I know that heritage plays an intrical part of a foster youth’s development. We are all diverse and come from different cultures so let’s utilize this label to empower a movement of cultural demand.
If a child is Indian allow them the opportunity to be subjected to their culture. If a child comes from a Hispanic heritage allow them to learn where they come from because culture not only breeds opportunity, it breeds character. Let’s call to action cultural heritage importance and show our nations foster youth positive role models who impacted change but not just because of their heritage but because of who they are and where they come from. Being exposed to culture is going to bring back a foster youth’s ability to dream once again of which they can become not a number of some statistics they can possibly represent.
In my final confession, foster youth and alumni need to all put positive power in having a mental health diagnosis. I am diagnosed as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Agoraphobia. There is nothing wrong with having a mental disorder. The remedy isn’t psychotropics but an understanding of the disorder(s), resources, coping skills, and ERASING the stigma that because you have a disorder that you are any less valuable as anyone else. Labeling someone because of a mental health diagnosis is something that we can definitely take a huge stand in because we all can qualify under a mental health diagnosis if every person underwent the psychological tests and stress that a foster youth overcomes. Any stakeholder that serves to improve the lives of foster youth is “crazy” because it is a world of excuses when we demand answers to improve lives. The reason we stay in this crazy state is because we all understand that there is a cause that is greater than us and that is to improve foster care and ensure that our PROMISING YOUTH are empowered to make greater strides than we are because they have the untapped potential and innovation that future leaders will listen to and take direction from.
As a foster youth, you have several labels. A ward of the court; foster kid, “my paycheck”, but let’s take back those labels and even more. This “paycheck” foster kid has a voice as a ward of the courts because it is my life too and in such I will tell you other labels that need to be added if you still want to be paid. I am a politician; I am an advocate; I demand to know what love, real unconditional love is from a foster home not a congregate facility. I am a Citizen of the United States of America, therefore I am an American and I have a voice.
The foster youth of the nation need to hashtag labels they wish to take power back to and spread it like wild fire. #LOVE, #DESERVING, #LEADER, #FAMILY, #NORMAL, these are just a sample of the types of labels that others have taken away from us and it’s our turn to claim it back with the positive power that we embrace them with.
Owner/Editor - Chris Chmielewski